New blog

Hi there peeps, I've decided to create a new blog because for some reason I didn't seem to have much enthusiasm for this one and didn't feel inclined to learn more about it. So a fresh start can be found here http://charm-dee.blogspot.com/

All change for 2012

I've decided that I'll be changing my blog in 2012. I'm not sure how exactly, I'm still thinking it through, I may create an entirely new blog and start from scratch. If I'll do that I'll create a link to the new blog here. Thanks to those who have followed me so far, hope to see you in 2012.

Chemo 5/6 today and more art to share

Hi there folks, it's my penultimate chemo today so I'm almost there, thank goodness, it's getting tougher towards the end and the side effects hit harder now. I'm planning a weekend away with my other half before I go back to work, it's a little treat for him to say thank you for standing like a rock, beside me, in all of this.

On to art, here's the art journal pages I've been working on lately.

It's been a while ....

... but the good news is I've passed my Degree and I've now got a 2:1 BA (Hons) Business Administration ...yay! I must admit to be very pleased, I never thought I'd get such a good result after all that's happened since I've been studying, losing both parents, battling cancer (twice) and working full time isn't easy at the best of times, least of all when you're studying for a degree. Still, I've done it and I've proved to myself that I'm made of solid stuff.

Chemo has begun again. The first one didn't go well and I had a really bad reaction to it which meant they had to stop immediately and put me on oxygen. It was very weird, I couldn't breathe, I had a horrible pain in my back and felt very hot within seconds of it getting into my blood stream. The oncology staff were amazing and had everything under control very quickly and reassured me that everything was going to be OK and that I was safe. The second chemo was much better they changed the drug to Docetaxol which I seem to have accepted so far but I've completely lost my sense of taste and everything feels like cottonwool in my mouth, it really is a horrid side effect.

I've done a little bit of artwork and very much enjoyed it. Still working through Ady's classes and loving them.

I've just uploaded Willowing's (Tam's) big giveaway details. She's starting a new class in January 2012 and I'm looking forward to joining in with that.

I've also started a Creative Writing course with my friend Wendy. So far so good but early days yet. I think I should really take a blog writing course but hey, can't do it all.

21 Secrets

A few weeks back I decided to join the 21 Secrets Art Journal Playground. I'm soooo glad that I did. In summary it's a collection 21 classes by 21 different art journallers all in one happy Ning community site. Fabulous! I am going to record my experience of each class here.

Collage Paint and Soul (Tamara Laporte)

A great class, learnt so much about layering and handling papers in the correct way so that they don't crinkle when wet. I think I also learnt a lot about symbolism. Here I have a month, a lunar hare and the moon - all connected through spirals. I found this page to be quite healing for me. Actually created on a night when the moon was looking full and beautiful. Someone commented on the site that it has an oriental feel, I am feeling quite inspired by Japanese and Indian art/colours at the moment.

Urban Layer Cake (Tammy Garcia)

This was great for letting go and just not thinking too much. The idea wasn't to create anything pretty it was just to enjoy the process which I truly did.

Beautiful You, Radiant You (Ingrid Murray)

Through the use of mandalas and story boards we can gain an insight as to what is going on in our subconcious. Quite revealing and it will be interesting to come back to it in 6 months or so to see if the same images may recur, where my thought patterns are stuck, which bits of me still need healing/venting/release etc.

Home from hospital at last

... and it feels so good. You know what hospitals are like I'm sure, I didn't sleep a wink. I was on Norfolk ward at Derriford which, I have to say, was a nice ward and quieter than most but at night you are aware of every movement and I couldn't sleep no matter how hard I tried. The operation took place on Wednesday morning (6th April), I was the first on Mr Scott's list. I didn't have a normal laproscopy because the cyst was too big in the end (although he didn't say how big he intimated that it was about 15cms). Instead they made one larger cut on my bikini line. Unfortunately the cyst burst as they were trying to remove it so now I'm left hoping and praying that it wasn't cancerous. I think they get the pathology report back in two weeks but I don't see Mr Scott until 4 weeks time. The waiting is the pits, it's definitely the hardest bit. Still it's done now, at least I'm a step further down the road and hopefully I still stand a chance of sitting my final exam on 4th May. I'm still quite uncomfortable at the moment but I'm signed off work for a month so hopefully I'll soon start to feel more comfortable and able to revise. It will be so good to move on from this. I hope and pray that finally I'll be able to leave cancer behind me for good.

A wonderful weekend in Cornwall

We've just returned from a lovely restful weekend in Cornwall. We stayed in Penzance but managed to fit an awful lot in. On the way down we stopped at the Hawkins Inn at Zelah, near St Angnes. After we'd refuelled we went down to St Anges and then down through to Trevaunance Cove a mile or so on toward the coast. We both liked it there. Joe explored while I looked around the few shops. They tried to rebuild the harbour 5 times there, but each time it's been swept away by the sea. I think they've given up now.

After Trevaunance we drove straight to Penzance and found our B&B, which we have to say wasn't that great, but everyone is feeling the pinch down here at the moment. We stayed in Penzance for the evening, just looked around and had dinner at the Dophin Tavern which was very nice, but quite expensive

On Saturday we packed a lot in. We've visited St Michaels Mount (actually got across the causeway this time) but sadly the castle and grounds were still closed to the public (we missed it by one day).

Then we drove to somewhere I'd always wanted to visit, Lamorna. I wasn't disappointed, it was so beautiful. The valley was covered in beautiful daffodils all the way down, it was so picturesque.

We visited the Cove and went for a fabulous walk around the headland and back. Then we went to the Lamorna Wink pub run by Cecile and Di, two ladies of advanced years who were absolutely wonderful and we met Bri, their friend. It was a fascinating pub with loads of seafarers bric-a-brac all over the place. The ladies had had the pub for over 40 years. It hadn't changed much in that time we doubt.

We then drove to Cape Cornwall where the weirdest thing happened. I bumped into someone I haven't seen for 20 years. Joe was up exploring the monument and I was taking photos and then she and her dog walked towards me. We chatted a while and I gave her my number, I hope she will phone so that we can catch up properly. The mist started to roll in and it became very cold so we made our way back to Penzance for dinner. I managed to get this lovely photo before we left. The sun peeping through the mist above the monument. This time we went to the Yacht Inn, which was fabulous. I think we'd like to stay there next time.

Today sadly we had to come back, but we did so via St Ives. It was beautiful there, really warm and sunny. We visited the Tate Modern, which Joe hated - said he'd felt raped and couldn't think of a bigger waste of money. To be honest part of me agreed, the exhibits weren't that exciting - at least not to me, there were films and sculptures mostly and the pictures that were there weren't really to my taste, I saw better in the galleries in the town. Still, at least we can say we've been now. Managed to take some nice photos by the sea and yes, the light really is amazing down there.

All in all a fabulous weekend.

Some more new journal pages

I haven't updated my blog for a while so these are just a few pages I've created recently. Quite pleased with these. This one is Hope with a few quotes about hope.
This one asks the question "If I could change anything in my life, what would it be?"

This one is about my love of fairies and anything fae. It's my own quote which reads "The land of fae is a land you grow into, not grow out of". I think this is one of my favourite pages so far.

This one is just a little reminder to "be yourself" I like this page too.

More hope rocks

I went for a lovely walk today on Dartmoor. I went to The Crapstone, yes it's really called The Crapstone and I thought it would be a good place to leave a Hope Rock, so I did. I wonder who will find it? When I came home I felt the need to create a journal page on Hope. Here's my day in pictures.

Hope Rocks with Lille Diane :)

Haven't updated for a while, it's been a busy time. Today though I have some important news. A friend of mine in the USA, Lille Diane has started a wonderful initiative called "Hope Rocks" it's all about passing on a little hope in the form of a rock, annonymously, to anyone who may need it. I'm not explaining this very well am I, lol? Look, the best way you can find out about this wonderful project is to visit Lille's blog here

Today I collected my pebbles from Jennycliff Beach, it was a beautiful day. Joe wanted to stride off to the other side of the beach so I sat and sketched for a while.

Health wise things aren't so great at the moment. I'm back in hospital to see another consultant on Thursday as I now have a 10cm cyst on my ovary, more worrying times ahead. The timing couldn't be worse as I'm only 3 months of my final exam for my degree, I so want to finish and graduate this year.

Anyway ... back to Hope Rocks ... here are some pics I've taken of my work in progress.

Some new artwork

Hi All, I've been stuck between four walls after my last operation and so I've got stuck into some artwork and been letting off steam creating. To begin with here's some art journal pages I've created.




I've also been working on Suzi Blu dolls and enjoyed every minute. Here's one that's complete



and here's one that needs more layers but I don't know what yet. Any suggestions warmly welcomed.

The start of a new journal

Today I began a new journal. It's going to be the one I use for things that inspire me like song titles, quotes, poems etc. Here's my first entry.

An update on life, cancer and everything.

Golly! A lot has happened since I last updated. I have probably forgetten an awful lot. I'll try and give a round up here. Thanks Darcy for reminding me that I needed to do this :-) Where to start? I guess I'll start with the most recent and work backwards. Breast Cancer Update Well last Saturday I came out of hospital after having my left breast removed (my choice as it reduces the risk of the cancer coming back) and then both breasts have been prepared for reconstruction with implants. These will be filled with saline to expand them and then, eventually, removed and replaced with silicone implants. At the moment my right arm is doing fine but my left arm is frozen through chording which is a horrid sensation which makes my arm pretty immobile and feels like I have a large marble in my armpit all the time. It's very odd. My hair is coming back nice and thickly after chemo thank goodness. It's about an inch long now, I can't wait to get it longer again. I have had a few friends struck by this bloody awful disease since I went back to work. I'm thinking particularly of Becky (in the USA) and Bo in Manchester. Also in my mind is Darcy's sister who is in Australia suffering another type of cancer It feels like everywhere you look this bloody disease is hitting someone. What will it take to find a cure. I wonder how far off we are? Going back to work Going back to work was hard. I found it hard not to get caught up in all the old office politics again and I very quickly found myself resenting being there. It was partly because so much of my job had been taken on by other people and I wasn't going to get parts of it back again and partly because it's so quiet at the moment I feel like I'm wasting time on insignificant stuff. Maybe it's time for me to start looking for a more challenging role within the Uni? Maybe I will when I finish the degree next year (hopefully)? I just feel that I need to concentrate on getting well at the moment, until then, I've just got to try and keep my head and not let all the petty stuff get to me. Here's a journal page that I created when I was feeling at my lowest. (Edited 3rd April 2011 and removed because I've changed my mind about making everything public. Negativity is probably best kept to myself and not 'put out there'). I think's enough for people to know that amongst the good days there were days when I felt like total shit and all I could do was redirect it onto an art journal page. As time's gone on I've begun to feel better and I think that's kind of reflected in my journal pages.

SuziBlu Goodness

I'm entering this picture into SuziBlu's 4th July goodness challenge.

SuziBlu is a very inspiring artist from the USA. She teaches video workshops on how to create beautiful folk art inspired dolls. I have loved every minute I've spent working on the drawings and paintings - and a moment enjoyed is never wasted.

You can find SuziBlu's workshops here

http://www.suziblu.ning.com

I'm done :)

Thankfully the journey has now come to an end. Well the first leg of it at least. I received my last chemo on 6th April. The PICC line was also removed so, all in all, I'm feeling a lot more comfortable now. It's lovely to be able to soak in the bath without the plastic flipper on (the big plastic cover that kept the PICC line bandages dry). I had an absolutely wonderful time soaking in bubbles reading a good book ... it was BLISS!

I've currently got a cold and wasn't able to return to work on Tuesday as I'd hoped. The Doc says I should get rid of it and go back on Monday. I'm looking forward to going back but I bet that feeling won't last too long once I'm back :) it'll probably feel like I've never been away ... well I hope so anyway :)

This has been an amazing journey. I've discovered so much about myself, my tolerance levels, the things which really matter in life and things which really I shouldn't sweat about. I've discovered that women are incredibly strong creatures and that when are backs are up against the wall we will fight for one another until the bitter end. I have met a wondeful community of spiritual sisters, people who have helped me through this very painful process who have lead the way as other have before for them. Thoughout all of this, the one thing that sticks in my mind the most is the incredibly healing power of friendship and love. I am truly blessed to have had some amazing women alongside me on this. I will be eternally grateful.

Have been creating but haven't managed to finish any projects yet but watch this space - pics coming soon.

In the meantime when I light a candle for people I send them my thoughts, my good intention my wishes ... here is my space of hope for all of you who need it.

Almost there!

A very quick catch up to bring things up to date.

My last chemo is due on 6th April, last two have been delayed through having low blood cells but I do hope that this last one will happen on time. I'm making sure I get sleep and rest and generally looking after myself by eating well etc so fingers crossed.

I've been working on a recipe mini book for Ann in the Scrapsville swap. I haven't done a video of it this time (I need to sort out my microphone as there's too much hissing noise), but here's some photos. Thanks very much to Hon for the lovely chipboard embellies you send me to finish it off :)















Here's a few more things I've been working on lately - a Suzibluesque picture ...



A little wall hanging made from a beer mat.



I should be going back to work in about 3/4 weeks - I am actually looking forward to regaining some normality at last :)