Hope Rocks with Lille Diane :)

Haven't updated for a while, it's been a busy time. Today though I have some important news. A friend of mine in the USA, Lille Diane has started a wonderful initiative called "Hope Rocks" it's all about passing on a little hope in the form of a rock, annonymously, to anyone who may need it. I'm not explaining this very well am I, lol? Look, the best way you can find out about this wonderful project is to visit Lille's blog here

Today I collected my pebbles from Jennycliff Beach, it was a beautiful day. Joe wanted to stride off to the other side of the beach so I sat and sketched for a while.

Health wise things aren't so great at the moment. I'm back in hospital to see another consultant on Thursday as I now have a 10cm cyst on my ovary, more worrying times ahead. The timing couldn't be worse as I'm only 3 months of my final exam for my degree, I so want to finish and graduate this year.

Anyway ... back to Hope Rocks ... here are some pics I've taken of my work in progress.

Some new artwork

Hi All, I've been stuck between four walls after my last operation and so I've got stuck into some artwork and been letting off steam creating. To begin with here's some art journal pages I've created.




I've also been working on Suzi Blu dolls and enjoyed every minute. Here's one that's complete



and here's one that needs more layers but I don't know what yet. Any suggestions warmly welcomed.

The start of a new journal

Today I began a new journal. It's going to be the one I use for things that inspire me like song titles, quotes, poems etc. Here's my first entry.

An update on life, cancer and everything.

Golly! A lot has happened since I last updated. I have probably forgetten an awful lot. I'll try and give a round up here. Thanks Darcy for reminding me that I needed to do this :-) Where to start? I guess I'll start with the most recent and work backwards. Breast Cancer Update Well last Saturday I came out of hospital after having my left breast removed (my choice as it reduces the risk of the cancer coming back) and then both breasts have been prepared for reconstruction with implants. These will be filled with saline to expand them and then, eventually, removed and replaced with silicone implants. At the moment my right arm is doing fine but my left arm is frozen through chording which is a horrid sensation which makes my arm pretty immobile and feels like I have a large marble in my armpit all the time. It's very odd. My hair is coming back nice and thickly after chemo thank goodness. It's about an inch long now, I can't wait to get it longer again. I have had a few friends struck by this bloody awful disease since I went back to work. I'm thinking particularly of Becky (in the USA) and Bo in Manchester. Also in my mind is Darcy's sister who is in Australia suffering another type of cancer It feels like everywhere you look this bloody disease is hitting someone. What will it take to find a cure. I wonder how far off we are? Going back to work Going back to work was hard. I found it hard not to get caught up in all the old office politics again and I very quickly found myself resenting being there. It was partly because so much of my job had been taken on by other people and I wasn't going to get parts of it back again and partly because it's so quiet at the moment I feel like I'm wasting time on insignificant stuff. Maybe it's time for me to start looking for a more challenging role within the Uni? Maybe I will when I finish the degree next year (hopefully)? I just feel that I need to concentrate on getting well at the moment, until then, I've just got to try and keep my head and not let all the petty stuff get to me. Here's a journal page that I created when I was feeling at my lowest. (Edited 3rd April 2011 and removed because I've changed my mind about making everything public. Negativity is probably best kept to myself and not 'put out there'). I think's enough for people to know that amongst the good days there were days when I felt like total shit and all I could do was redirect it onto an art journal page. As time's gone on I've begun to feel better and I think that's kind of reflected in my journal pages.

SuziBlu Goodness

I'm entering this picture into SuziBlu's 4th July goodness challenge.

SuziBlu is a very inspiring artist from the USA. She teaches video workshops on how to create beautiful folk art inspired dolls. I have loved every minute I've spent working on the drawings and paintings - and a moment enjoyed is never wasted.

You can find SuziBlu's workshops here

http://www.suziblu.ning.com

I'm done :)

Thankfully the journey has now come to an end. Well the first leg of it at least. I received my last chemo on 6th April. The PICC line was also removed so, all in all, I'm feeling a lot more comfortable now. It's lovely to be able to soak in the bath without the plastic flipper on (the big plastic cover that kept the PICC line bandages dry). I had an absolutely wonderful time soaking in bubbles reading a good book ... it was BLISS!

I've currently got a cold and wasn't able to return to work on Tuesday as I'd hoped. The Doc says I should get rid of it and go back on Monday. I'm looking forward to going back but I bet that feeling won't last too long once I'm back :) it'll probably feel like I've never been away ... well I hope so anyway :)

This has been an amazing journey. I've discovered so much about myself, my tolerance levels, the things which really matter in life and things which really I shouldn't sweat about. I've discovered that women are incredibly strong creatures and that when are backs are up against the wall we will fight for one another until the bitter end. I have met a wondeful community of spiritual sisters, people who have helped me through this very painful process who have lead the way as other have before for them. Thoughout all of this, the one thing that sticks in my mind the most is the incredibly healing power of friendship and love. I am truly blessed to have had some amazing women alongside me on this. I will be eternally grateful.

Have been creating but haven't managed to finish any projects yet but watch this space - pics coming soon.

In the meantime when I light a candle for people I send them my thoughts, my good intention my wishes ... here is my space of hope for all of you who need it.